I'm sure Charlie hates you

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
humilem
powerfulwizard

I’m so scared of 2020, something seems to frightening about this year. It’s gonna be Y2K all over again. The Black Plague is going to come back. I swear. I fuckin swear.

heritageposts

date of origin: 3rd of december, 2018.

whatafuckingdumbass

Apollo, calm down with the gift of prophecy.

iamanartichoke

Has anyone checked on OP, are they okay

troopy-writes-kinda

image

idk my guy doesn’t look good

humilem
vintar

i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair

fidefortitude

this is extremely concerning and also very reassuring, thank you and please stop bringing pythons onto public transportation 

ejacutastic

Anonymous asked:

i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns.

penstab answered:

SIR, PLEASE,

penstab

image

YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY LEAVE THIS IN THE REPLIES AS IF THIS ISNT A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF THIS HARROWING STORY

SIR!!!!!!

spicy-vagina-tacos
parakeet

had this guy come into the store todayy and he had a full on coughing fit in the aisle he was wearing one of those blue generic masks and he was coughing so bad he was turning red and he came to the till and in between coughs and eye waterings he said ‘its not covid i picked this mask up off the floor and i think it has cat hair in it’ and then his card declined and he left

cumpdocumentation

image
kinksharne
jakeperalta

not to be controversial but sometimes I think the private personal lives of celebrities are in fact none of our business

thetomlinsonway

Unless they are being closeted, oppressed or censored and they show discomfort with and about it, and try to warn us or communicate to us about their situation. Just then and only then…it’s also our business.

surprisedentistry

celebrities are not sending you secret coded messages asking you to save them. i’m so sorry to tell you this but the former members of your favorite boy band are not actually secretly communicating with you about your RPF ship

thetomlinsonway

I could’ve swore you said they were not trying to communicate through coded messages.

I think RBB and SBB handled by One Direction themselves don’t agree with you on that one, lad.

image

Just two rainbow teddy bears wearing a real expensive Rolex in their wrist and all dressed up at One Direction’s stage tour just for no reason at all.

image

What a strange happenstance!

image

NOT. I could go on and on all day. Anyways…great chat, pals!

surprisedentistry

i’m obsessed with the way that this is phrased like a slam dunk while absolutely being one of the most incoherent responses possible. it’s literally just pictures of two teddy bears

surprisedentistry

us: celebrities aren’t secretly communicating with you asking you to save them through coded messages

someone in an incredibly bizarre fandom echo chamber with zero self-awareness about how unhinged they’re about to sound: yeah well what about THIS *posts a picture of two teddy bears where one of the bears looks like it’s reading a book about diarrhea*